Incompetence
by aiwa
Summary: Harry is feeling a little down recently, thinking that is life is no good at all ONE SHOT (HXH)


I don't know any Harry Potter's character, I just got up with a little plot.

_INCOMPETENCE_

_Incompetence.  
Is that all I am? Is that all I revolve around?  
Can I never loose myself from its claws? The ones that keep clutching tighter and tighter until they break the skin.  
And I am left watching the crimson blood and hot tears trail down...  
It is an endless cycle of falling down. Over and over.  
Too much. Too much disappointment._

It's not that I've been feeling down lately. It's not that, I guess.

It's just that everything is a failure if it has to do with me.

…

Ok, maybe I've been feeling down.

But when you fail over and over again, you lose the people you love most… you just eventually start to think you ARE something wrong.

Mostly if you happened to be Harry Potter.

My life was never easy, never did I pretend or expected it was, still when I first entered Hogwarts I thought that I had actually found a home, so that I could take a breath.

But slowly with all the things that happened…

Maybe the Dursley were right… I should have never been born.

The last and maybe worst failure of all still burned inside me.

I failed friendship.

Something like a month ago I started to go crazy about a girl, you know, she was smart, cute and sexy, it sounds funny to me even now thinking this way…

Anyhow I liked her… and that wasn't such a good thing even at the time, and then… well, it actually turned to love in a matter of weeks, and that was totally crazy.

I wasn't supposed to. I wasn't supposed to suddenly find cute and sexy my best friend, was I? And fall in love with her?

No, I guess I wasn't.

But obviously enough the worst thing happened, Ron was liking her in that way, too. And then he actually beat me in time, he confessed to me his thoughts.

One day, after practice, he came closer and with an embarrassed smile he said "I think I like Hermione!"

What was I to answer to that stupid statement? Stupid stupid.

Nothing really. My whole world crumbled to pieces, I wasn't able to say a word, I was stuck in a stupid grimace for pretty much the rest of the day.

Unfortunately it was just the first of many time, Ron just found natural to come to me everyday to talk about her, I am his best friend, after all, don't any best friend listen careful to the problem of his best mate? But the only thing I could do during that time, was staring at some place in the nearest wall keep repeating how stupid I was not telling him first…

I was caught up in something I wasn't able to get out of. It really was bigger than me.

I had a couple of choice.

First I could say to Ron that I liked Hermione first so to ruin probably both the friendships.

Second I could stay silent and watch the girl I love with my best friend, how happy will I be!

It's an easy choice, right?

God, I'm so stupid.

I'm such an incompetent, not even able to normally fall in love.

Definitely it was too much.

My lack of enthusiasm unbelievably got through Ron's thick skin. He started to avoid talking about Hermione now, even for the meaningless thing, and that was kinda annoying sometimes, and also started to make some strange jokes about my behaviour when I was with her.

Well, I didn't see it coming anyhow, not from Ron at least.

Harry, I need to talk with you.- said Hermione once. My blood froze in my veins, I saw Ron watching in our direction darkly. Something was wrong.

Her gaze was firm and secure, she guided me out of the common room, but her attitude failed as soon as we got past the Fat Lady. She looked at me embarrassed.

did something happened?- I asked worried.

She shook her head, then nodded confusing.

what's wrong?-

well… I'm quite confused… I mean… I don't know what to believe.-

what is it?-

well, Ron told me something… and that really confuses me.-

My eyes widened. But I was worrying about the wrong thing.

I really don't know what to believe… it's just unbelievable… but if I think about it… well… it's not that much… I don't know.- she said starting to tremble.

well, you need to think about it really seriously.- I said gravely.

She looked at me surprised.

so it's true?- she asked more nervous.

well, I don't think Ron would lie to you, right?- I replied trying to keep cool.

but Harry, why didn't YOU tell me?-

I stared perplexed.

what? Well… it was not me who had to say it.-

but why? I mean it has to do with you and me… not with Ron.

My jaw fell down.

what?-

Her forehead wrinkled.

Ron told me you're in love with me.-

HE DID WHAT?- I shouted with anger.

calm down… I knew it wasn't true.-

calm down? But he sp… I mean… I don't understand what's gotten into him

I have no idea… but he definitely passed the limit.

I can't believe it.-

exactly…-

I thought for a second… was I missing something? In her behaviour, really something was weird.

But I didn't have time to think about it that she started to walk away.

hey, where are you going?-

I need to go to the bathroom.-

ah.-

My brain flashed into a couple of possibilities, really quickly.

I mean, things were messed up anyway…

Herm! Sorry but… what if it was true?-

She froze.

I-

She shook her head.

I would be feeling a lot different.

why? How are you feeling?-

Hermione sighed hopelessly.

kinda depressed.-

I reached for her hand and took it in mine. She turned around, her face was completely red.

are you serious?-

She smiled embarrassed.

is there a time when I'm not?-

I smiled back.

I love you… a lot.- I said staring in her eyes. She blinked a couple of times.

wow.- she uttered breathlessly.

I didn't expect something like this from you Harry.-

why?-

well, you were treating me quite bad lately.-

oh-I-I'm really sorry…-

She squeezed my hand gently.

I guess it's ok.- she whispered coming closer to hug me.

Well, things are never easy, it wasn't easy before and it won't be in the future. But man, I was happy. At least I could have that.

P.s. Ron and his anger were apocalyptical… thinking that he tried to make me lose her and got the opposite… he had been as stupid as I had been not telling anyone. But we're friend. We'll eventually get over it.

THE END

Please review and tell me what to think. It was made for a challenge on portkey. Hope you like it.


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